I finally saw Tropic Thunder last night. Although it might not have been one of Ben Stiller's best movies, it definitely had some memorable quotes and laughs. I have to admit that Robert Downey Jr stole the film. He was so damn good and funny. I was also surprised by the role Tom Cruise played. There are some quotes that are constantly going over in my head and I might have to try and sneak them at work. Let's look at some situations where I might be able to sneak a Tropic Thunder quote in.
Who does not get tired of being accosted right when you walk through the door at work. This happens to me all the time. I can also use this quote in any meeting because some coworker (usually multiple coworkers) will blurt out some brain dead comment, question or suggestion. Time for some Les Grossman and reply with this:
First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!
One thing that constantly happens throughout the workday is people coming into my office and interrupting me while I am trying to get some work done. I am sure it happens to all of you. Another Les Grossman reply might be in order.
Look, fuckstick, I'm incredibly busy. So why don't you get the hell out of here before I snap your dick off and jam it into your ass...
Most of us usually have to sell off an idea or suggestion from time to time. It's the nature of working in a team environment. Jeff Portnoy's quote should get my idea readily accepted.
I will literally suck your dick, right now. I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy. Get it over here, buddy. Let's do this.
I don't know about you, but I receive tons of documents, power points, emails, etc. when working on projects. And let's face the facts, who has time to all read them? I'm lucky to have time to glance through all them. I think I am going to start using a Kirk Lazarus quote when I am asked if I read something.
I don't read the script. The script reads me.
I like to keep coworkers on their toes and keep them always guessing what goes on in my head. I am known to always do a great job on my projects and completing them in the highest professional manner. But I also like people to say, "Man, Chris is damn good and knows his shit, but whoaaa..." So, basically I like to have an air of mystery around me. Usually random blurts around the hallway and meetings solidifies this aura of mystery. I believe the addition of this last Kirk Lazarus' quote should do well. Just imagine walking down the hallway and looking at someone all crazy eyed and saying this Lazarus quote:
I know what dude I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
These quotes should come off pretty well at work! Can't wait to use them.